Lost in Translation CrankaTsuris, Part One

While there are many different kinds of CrankaTsuris, some forms of CrankaTsuris are derived from a particular CrankaTsuris that we should all try to gain a deeper understanding of. If you are able to attain this understanding of this very serious kind of CrankaTsuris, you may then find that you are able to eliminate other CrankaTsuris that you may experience in your lives.

This CrankaTsuris is called “Lost in Translation CrankaTsuris.” This is when friends, family members, and work colleagues communicate with each other, and they do not hear what the other person actually said, or they heard only the part that they wanted to hear. This then leads to a misunderstanding which may turn into distrust, and even resentment. This can be very serious. However, once we identify it, we can then be able to deal with it with much more effectiveness, and create a more positive interaction when Lost in Translation CrankaTsuris does arise.

The big problem starts with two people having an interaction with one person having a firm belief that they heard exactly what they heard even though what they heard was not exactly what was said. Because this person who did not hear exactly what was said also has the firm belief on what the other person said, this person then proceeds to tell the other person exactly what that person said even though that person never said it. Now, this second person does not want to be told what he or she said. This is especially true because they are being told that they said something that they never said in the first place.

It would be much more refreshing if there was a more honest response on exactly what happened when there is this breakdown in communication. It would go a bit like this:

“You did not say it because I did not hear it.

If I heard it, I did not understand it.

If I understood it, I didn’t think you actually meant it.

If you really meant it, I did not really believe it.

Maybe I did believe it, but I did not think you were serious.

Maybe I thought you were serious, but I did not think it was that important.

Because I did not think it was that important, I did not pay much attention to what you said.”

Everyone has grown up learning the nursery rhyme of Jack and Jill. This has recently been updated to current times, and it is so brand new, I am sure that you never heard it before. However, it helps us learn how to deal with Lost in Translation CrankaTsuris. Because of this, I will tell you the full story of Jack and Jill as it would be told as if this was a present day occurrence.

Once upon this time, there was a a married couple named Jack and Jill. They had a young son named Jack Junior. Jill ran a consulting firm from home, and Jack was a high ranked government official. One day, Jack came home late from work and Jill was looking cross, and her arms folded.

Jill: Where were you? I was at the Parent Teacher Conference, and you weren’t there.

Jack: I told you that I was meeting with the Prime Minister of Sweden.

Jill: You never said anything about a meeting with the Prime Minister. You just said that you would love to go to the Parent Teacher Conference.

Jack: I said that I would love to go to the Conference, but that I couldn’t because I had to meet the Prime Minister of Sweden. Did you fetch the pails of water liked I asked you?

Jill: No! I told you that I could not fetch the pails of water because I was going to the Parent Teacher Conference.

Jack: No. You said that you would love to fetch the pails of water!

Jill: Listen. You can be sure that the one thing I would never say is I love to fetch pails of water. If I never walk up that freaking hill to fetch a pail of water, that will be a happy day.

Jack: How was the Parent Teacher Conference? What did the teachers say about Jack Junior?

Jill: They said that Jack Junior is an imbecile!

Jack: What? Jack Junior told me that he was late on just one homework assignment.

Jill: One late homework assignment would be an incident. A few later homework assignments would be a pattern. The teachers all told me that for Jack Junior, apparently it is a lifestyle.

Jack: I can talk to Jack Junior. Why don’t you get the pails of water?

Jill: I am not going up that stupid hill in the dark. You are coming with me.

Jack and Jill then went up the hill to fetch the pails of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after.

Jack: My head!!

Jill: I think I broke a leg! And an arm! I can’t move!

The ambulance came, and they were taken to the Mount Sinai Medical Center Emergency Room. They were then transferred to the Bickering Couples wing.

Jack: Jill! This is all your fault!

Jill: My fault! Who said they wanted to live in a house where you have to go up a hill to fetch a pail of water!

Jack: You said you would love to live in a house that had a nice hill!

Jill: But not to fetch pails of water all the time! Don’t you remember that the same thing happened when we were both ten years old?

Jack: Yes! And it was your fault then too! But how about we have the nurse turn on the TV to CNN, and see what they say about this?

The nurse comes into the room, and puts on CNN. Sure enough, Wolf Buzzword was on with breaking news.

Wolf Buzzword: We are here with some breaking news. This just came in. Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch pails of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. They are now resting comfortably at Mount Sinai Medical Center, and they are expected to both fully recover.

Our thoughts and prayers are with them. Now, we have a panel to discuss this situation. We have with us Reverend Al Sharpy, Psychologist Dr. Path O’Logic, and Savanna Gotcha. I will start with you, Reverend Sharpy. Who do you think is to blame for this mishap?

Sharpy: Clearly, I would place the blame with Jack. They should never have been in house that you have to go up and down a hill to fetch pails of water. Also, if you recall, Jack first asked Jill to go up by herself in the dark at night. That shows clear insensitivity on the part of Jack.

Gotcha: I agree with Sharpy. I was invited to the house after a snow storm. My heart went out to poor Jill watching her lumbering up the hill in the snow, and holding big Jack Junior in one arm.

Jack then yells at the TV!

Jack: Outrageous! Why doesn’t she talk about me going up the hill to sled with Jack Junior!

Buzzword: Dr. O’Logic. You have been studying Jack and Jill for over thirty years, and you are known as the foremost expert in this area. What is your opinion?

O’Logic: Yes. I have been studying Jack and Jill ever since they were small children. This happened before when they were both ten years old. Given this experience, they probably should never been in the house in the first place.

Buzzword: I have to agree. We just received this recent Quinnipiac College poll. Americans were asked who was at fault for this mishap. Seventy five percent blame Jack. Only Fifteen percent blame Jill. Five percent blames Jack Junior. Five percent remain undecided.

Jack: I have had enough of this! Nurse! Can you change the channel to Fox News?

Jill: Keep it on CNN, or maybe MSNBC!

The Nurse listens to Jack and changes the channel to FOX.

“Good evening. I am Sean Insanity and tonight we are here to talk about a developing story. Jack and Jill once again went up the hill to fetch pails of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. I have with me tonight to discuss this further Snarlson Snicker, Stephanie Breakarule, and Dr. Sico Path. I will start with you, Snicker. What do you think of this situation?

Snicker: The question is why are we even talking about this. Jack was meeting with the Prime Minister of Sweden. He has had many meetings with other world leaders. Should people be watching this thinking that a person dealing everyday with world affairs should even come home to fetch pails of water. Jill should have known that they are in the public eye, and made sure she got all the pails of water before the Parent Teacher Conference. Also, it is probably Jill’s fault that Jack Junior happens to be an imbecile.

Dr. Sico Path: I agree with Snicker. If you look closely at Jill’s arms which I know understand to be both broken, they happen to be quite muscular. She had the ability. She also had the responsibility.

Breakarule: Jill is clearly the one to blame. I understand that Jack Junior was home, and he is quite a large kid. I understand that he is also referred to as Humpty Dumpty. Jill, who should have made sure Jack Junior did all his homework, should have instilled discipline in Jack Junior by having him go up a hill.

Insannity: I certainly agree with that point on discipline. Apparently, Americans agree as well. This just came out. A Wall Street Journal/USA Today poll indicates that eighty percent of Americans thinks Jill is at fault. Ten percent blame Jack. The other ten percent blames Humpty Dumpty.

Jack and Jill: Humpty Dumpty!!

Jill: Nurse! Turn the TV off!

Jack: Yes. I have had enough.

Jack: Jill. I am sorry. Let us agree that you heard exactly what you thought you heard.

Jill: And, you said exactly what you said.

Jack: But, we were both not paying the right attention. From now on, when we say something to each other, how about this? We actually show each other that we heard each other as well.

Jill: Do you mean that we both actually get the experience of being heard?

Jack: Crazy right?

Jill: Yes, and I love crazy! And I love you too!

Jack: And I love you! Let’s go crazy!

Once Jack and Jill learned how to show they both heard each other, they discovered the cure to Lost in Translation CrankaTsuris.


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