The Five-Step Approach to Effective Crankiness
Throughout my blog posts, I have laid out various strategies to effective crankiness or what I have coined “the CrankaTsuris Method”. Here, I like to lay out the five steps you can employ to lay down the foundation, and begin your own journey to effective crankiness.
1. Rename your “crankiness” as a “CrankaTsuris.”
The crankiness comes in all different kinds of forms. It comes from anger. It comes from fear. It comes from frustration. It comes from depression. These are just a few.
These are real feelings, and many times, these feelings want to be fed so we create stories to make those feelings grow. Suppose I am angry at a person for one thing that person did, I can then start thinking of three other things that never happened. I do that because it keeps that adrenalin of anger growing. We then want to take action because of these feelings, and too many of those actions are harmful to ourselves and to others.
With these feelings, there is no ground and no real feeling of control. The actions we take are typically bad choices because there is no ground and no control. These are acts of impulsiveness.
Roll all these feelings up and deposit all those feelings into your chest and when you feel it there, think of it as something that takes shape. You can picture in your mind any shape that suits you, and this will be your “CrankaTsuris.”
2. Think of your “CrankaTsuris” as you would think of a virus and be aware that what you have is the “Common CrankaTsuris.”
Nobody likes it when they get a cold. However, nobody really freaks out when they get one. Why? It is because there was some person who was smart enough a long time ago to call it the “common cold” even though there are people, for some reason, never even get a cold.
Since we all have our own “CrankaTsuris” on a daily basis, think of it as the “Common CrankaTsuris.” It is not incurable cancer that you will need rounds of chemotherapy. It will pass. Also, while you are dealing with the “Common CrankaTsuris,” you can look around the room filled with people, and the infection rate is likely to close to 100%.
There is something there that grounds us when we know we are not alone, and we are all afflicted. If I am feeling I am all alone in this, I am only looking inwards, and the world outside is the enemy. If I am not alone, I start looking outside and feeling compassion for this around me, and then something happens. I begin to have more compassion for myself.
3. Create a mutual CrankaTsuris support team.
Get your friends and family to buy into the CrankaTsuris concept. This takes the concept of the “Common CrankaTsuris” to the next level. Here is the point that everyone can embrace their crankiness and the crankiness of their loved ones. This is when we start to know when to self diagnose the CrankaTsuris, and even help diagnose the CrankaTsuris of our loved ones. We all agree to support each other when we have the bouts of CrankaTsuris. We are all doctors who know how to treat this.
Think about what happens. I may actually be having a CrankaTsuris because of something you did was annoying. Before, I would go on the attack because of this annoyance. You may then feel to attack back or become defensive. If we have the approach that we give space and treat the CrankaTsuris as if we are all doctors, we are being responsive to the CrankaTsuris, and we are not getting all personal with it. It becomes really clear when your partner or everyone on your support team gets to do this. Everyone knows that they will get the same treatment in return. Everyone will also see that things do not get as escalated into a crisis as it once did.
The more everyone participates, the more effective we all become. Then, it really becomes a professional enterprise that we can all be proud of.
4. Practice your CrankaTsuris when you are not cranky.
Eventually, this is something you can have fun with, and hopefully, it will make you laugh. But, if you will be self-diagnosing and providing treatment for the CrankaTsuris, it is good to get some practice. Make-believe you are practicing giving CPR. Make-believe you are doing improvisational theater, and everyone is a performer. Make-believe that you are all training for the Tsuris Olympics. Only one person can get the gold medal.
5. Make sure you have a quiet place when you need quiet.
While much of this is letting out the CrankaTsuris in a healthy way and in a supportive environment, it is also necessary that everyone has their quiet place. If you are feeling completely depleted, and you need to go into a corner, that is where you should go. However, getting back to the support team, everybody gets a quiet place, and everybody gives each other the quiet time that they need.
You are on your way.