No Good News CrankaTsuris

Especially during difficult times like we are experiencing now, everyone is starving for some good news. “I need some good news.” “I am desperate for good news.” “I never get good news.” When will we finally get some good news?”

These same people are quick to point out the bad news. “It is all bad news.” “The only thing we hear is bad news.”  “I cannot watch the bad news anymore.” “I am so done with all the bad news.”

This combination can lead to “No Good News CrankaTsuris.” This person becomes all gloom and doom. “Unless you have something good to tell me, I do not even want to hear what you have to say.”

You would almost have to believe that this same person is acting this way because at some point in their lives, they had lots of good news. It was a good news drug.  Because they enjoyed the good news drug, they became a good news drug addict, and is now  just suffering from good news drug withdrawal. When you try to point out to this person the fact that the news was not so great before, the response is always the same.

“Yes. The news was bad before.  But, now it is even worse.”

The fact of the matter is that these people were never good news drug addicts, and they are not experiencing withdrawal symptoms..

Finally, you try to cheer this gloomy person up with some good news. “I have good news to report! I got a 95 average on my report card. Yay for me!  Doesn’t that make you happy? Mom ordered Chinese to celebrate.  Your favorite. Doesn’t that make you happy.”

The response usually goes like this. “I am very proud of you , but that is not news. I knew that you would do well. I need news that is good. Chinese food. It is good, but not good news. And, can I afford the Chinese food. Maybe, that is bad news.”

This same person cannot tell you what good news would look like. This same person usually does nothing to try to create the good news through his or her own actions. They sit on their CrankaTsuris thrown waiting for the good news to be presented to them. They are surprised and upset when the good news fails to arrive. When it does arrive, they can turn the good news into bad news.

“Papa! Once we have the vaccine, the pandemic will be over, and we can go back to normal. That is good news.”

“No. It is not good news. It will take years till everything is completely back to normal.  I have said it before. This Country is going down the tubes. I know. Every morning, I look out the window. Do you know what I see?  Tubes. I even hear that when ice caps melt, do you know what they see under the melted ice? Tubes. It use to be one tube. Now, we have many tubes.”

While we would all like to get good news, I actually have studied history to find moments of good news.  Usually, the good news comes immediately after the really bad news. Because everyone was so happy with the good news after such bad news, they made it a holiday. Independence Day, for example, was the victory over the British. Good news, but it came after the bad news. They had to have a war.

I relate to this fact because I know that many of the holidays in the Jewish religion, which I happen to sometimes follow, was established because they had good news after terrible news.

The holiday of Hanukkah celebrates the overcoming of oppression and persecution by the Greeks and Syrians.  The story is one that the news everyday was really terrible, and they overcame what was happening. Good news follows bad news, and we have a holiday.

The story of Purim is one when the evil Haman tricked the King to decree that the Jewish people get exterminated. When you get a decree that you will be kaput, that is awful news. Queen Esther tells the King about the evil plot, and everyone is saved. It is time to create another holiday. 

Years before all that,  we were slaves in Egypt, building pyramids. It is not much fun being slaves, and building pyramids. And, you talk about the heat and the sun they had to endure building the pyramids. If the hard labor didn’t kill you, the skin cancer would. 

Once again, the news was very bad. It was so bad, they did not need to turn on the television to get their dose of bad news. They lived the bad news. And, I can tell you. Walking through a desert for forty years was no picnic. Once they got to experience some good news, what is the first thing they do. You guessed it. Another holiday.

Even in our own lives, much of the good news came after bad news. A soon to be mother suffers from morning sickness, lots of kicking and labor pains. Once the baby is born, the first thing we do is throw a party. We remember a day of excruciating pain with a funny clown, silly hats and goody bags.  Another holiday.

But, sometimes, our holidays do not last for long.  After years of the terrible two, threes, and teens, the only thing we can think of is when will my child be on his or her own two feet. Of course, the child is leaving the house, and this is good news.  A few days of that, and you realize that the house is now childless.  It is bad news. The first thing we complain about terrible it is that the house will be now empty. Even the child’s wedding day, another holiday, can be a day of good news and bad news. 

“Ursula, I hear your daughter is getting married!  That is such good news!”

“Zelda, at first, it was good news.  But, I can tell you after meeting the bum, the only thing I can think about is that she can do so much better!” 

But similar to our recognized holidays, the good news after bad news should be a cause for celebration. Joey struggled for years in that job, and he finally got a new job, or he was finally recognized, and got a promotion. Debbie suffered through a terrible marriage, and finally got a divorce. Harry had cancer, but he successfully recovered.

With all this, we see the answer to No Good News CrankaTsuris. If it is because it is the bad news that we are experiencing in our own lives, let this be the opportunity to become resilient, overcome the woes you face, and when you are done, you get to claim your own personal holiday. 

Of course, if it not the bad news that is affecting you directly, but it is only because you have your television stuck on the bad news channel, the only thing left to do is to turn off the television.

It is another holiday. Have you ever gone on a vacation, and you did not have access to all the newspapers, or the cable news networks, and then, you had to comment how good it was to just get away from the news?

It turns out that what they say is really true.

“No news is good news.”

The cure for No Good News CrankaTsuris.


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