When the Family CrankaTsuris(™) Strikes
This is the first entry of The Last Surviving Dinosaur: The TyrantoCrankaTsuris blog. There are lots of little messages in the book, and while I hope adults read it out loud and have lots of fun with the different characters (and voices), the real purpose of the book is to be a teaching for the adults.
We all get cranky. Crankiness does not just come from Tsuris or problems but can be for many other reasons. We are tired, frustrated, angry, annoyed, and sometimes all of these feelings at once. Kids are misbehaving. Your partner is not being sensitive. We all have different tolerance levels, and the needle keeps moving. You have hit a low point and splat!!! Outcomes the CrankaTsuris!!
There is nothing wrong with having a CrankaTsuris. This is who we are. The CrankaTsuris is a response to an attack. Your day has been challenging. People have been annoying. You have held back from striking. “I am not going to respond,” you say to yourself. Then, when it becomes too much, you let out your biggest CrankaTsuris.
The problem is that, unlike the story, all the other dinosaurs do not disappear. Wouldn’t it be just absolutely fabulous if it worked? You let out one nasty CrankaTsuris, and then “ahhhh…peace and quiet!!! Finally!!!”
But, unfortunately, it does not work that way. There are a couple of reasons. First of all, nobody is going anywhere. It does not create a disappearing act (unless of course, you are the TyranoCrankaTsuris and just never stop!). Your partner, kids, brothers, sisters, parents are going nowhere. Second, a CrankaTsuris is always let out without any warning. It is meant to be a counterattack, but because it is a surprise counterattack, the recipient does not know what to do except to attack back.
Then, once the CrankaTsuris battle subsides, who ends up as the one to say I am sorry? Who is the person who was out of line? It is you – the initiator of the CrankaTsuris battle. You now feel even worse!
So, the answer is not in suppressing our CrankaTsuris, but to know it is there. Know that it is part of all of us. So, here is a practice you can try. You have the CrankaTsuris inside of you, and you want to let it out. But, you do not want to hurt anyone. You just want to be heard. Just let your family know you have a CrankaTsuris in you and you want to let it out. Make it a family rule to announce to other family members that you have it. Once everyone is prepared, let it all out.
And when you are all done, it will be time for a family hug!!