One of my favorite stories as a child was “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, a Roald Dahl story that had been made into a movie twice. I loved Charlie as did everyone else. The other kids were rich and spoiled, and presumably got what was coming to them. We got the happy ending that everyone wanted.
But, what happened to those spoiled kids who had misadventures and mishaps, and needed immediate medical attention afterwards? They could not sue since their parents had signed an ironclad release which preempted any lawsuit against Willy Wonka.
Since these kids suffered an unimaginable CrankaTsuris, I thought I would use my Noodleverse to come up with a story that takes two of the misbehaving kids and gives them a happy ending as well.
This story happens in the future in the Land of Noodleham. How far in the future you may ask. Nobody knows. The sky was always blue. The air was always clean. Everybody was always happy because of the invention of the Snoodle. This was the brainchild of Herbie Snoodleman. The Snoodle also provided a delicious bowl of noodles after a long day of school or work. All of Noodleham became noodle obsessed.
The Snoodle replaced the KrautMobile which had been the mode of transportation. It was invented by Herbie’s brother, Sour Croodleman, and while it was a reliable mode of transportation, it ran of sauerkraut which made everyone cranky and rather stinky.
Sour’s Krautmobile business quickly went kaput, but he became popular once again with the invention of the Prickly Peppered Purple Propulsion Powered Pickle. This special pickle, when inserted into a Snoodle Zoomadoodle, allowed for space travel ten times the speed of light. This allowed for the exploration of galaxies far beyond our own. A regular Prickly Peppered Propulsion Powered Pickle allowed the Snoodle to becoming flying machines that allowed people to go to place to place in no time at all!
This particular pickle also helped save Herbie and Sour’s brother Norman Noodle, whom with his wife, Sally Stroodle, ran the Noodle to Stroodle Bakery. Norman and Sally were abducted by the Zoodle Kidoodles from the planet Zoodle to perform brain surgery on their leader, Cloodle the Grand Roodle, and repair the Zoodle Kidoodle Spaceship. While being very advanced aliens, the Zoodles did not have any brain surgeons or rocket scientists. With the help of Norman and Sally’s two kids, Ricky Rockadoodle and Briana Brainy Broodle, they repaired the Zoodle Kidoodle Spaceship, and repaired Cloodle the Grand Roodle’s brain. Cloodle, you see, had come down with a bad case of Genius Brain.
The Zoodle Kidoodles had also placed vacuudoodles around the Earth to vacuum all of Earth’s noodles which had been removed after the successful repair of the spaceship and Cloodle’s brain.
The Zoodles had wanted to take the gang back to Zoodle to provide Zoodles training for 100 years. However, after DooDoo Kidoodle attempted to put Schmoodle the Poodle back on to the Snoodle Zoomadoodle (because of Zoodle’s strict no pet policy), Schmoodle did a happy dance causing a cloud of sauerkraut fumes to appear, and the Zoodle Kidoodles quickly fell asleep. Everyone made it safely back to Noodleham. Ricky and Brianna were heroes saving the planet and were given the keys to the City.
Did I say that everyone was happy? Well, not everyone. There was one family who weren’t doing too well. Before the invention of the KrautMobile, people would drive in a GroodleMobile, or the “Groodle” as it was unaffectionately called. This was invented by Grumpy Grimy Groodleman. The Groodle ran on grool.
What is grool, you may ask? Nobody knew for sure, but everyone had one word for it. Yucky! It smelled bad, caused grey clouds to appear above, and the people looked rather grey. The Groodle would burn the grool to run, but there was nowhere to put the burnt grool. Sadly, the burnt grool was dumped into rivers, lakes, and oceans, causing them to turn grey.
Grumpy Grimy Groodleman had two kids. His son was Frumpy Frizzy Froodle, and his daughter was Whimpy Whiny Woodle. Being the wealthiest man in Noodleham at the time, Grumpy Grimy spoiled his kids rotten. When Frumpy and Whimpy were a bit younger, and the Groodle was still selling like hot noodle cakes, they got a special present from their dad, Grumpy Grimy. It was a special tour of the Wonkadoodle Candydoodle Factory.
The two kids were given special instructions not to eat candies or drinks that were still in the experimental phase, but because both kids were rather spoiled by Grumpy Grimy, they disobeyed, with disastrous results.
Frumpy Frizzy Froodle could not help himself from grabbing a Fizzy Wizzy Popadoodle. He became very fizzy. He then became wizzy. He then started to float into the sky as a giant popadoodle. Frumpy Frizzy ultimately went pop, and came crashing to the ground.
Whimpy Whiny Woodle grabbed a Swizzly Twizzly Slimadoodle. Whimpy Whiny started to swizzle and twizzle. She whimpered and whined until she turned into a puddle of slime. Luckily, the Wonkadoodle Candydoodle Factory had a De-Slimeadoodle machine, and Whimpy Whiny was swept into a bucket for de-sliming. While Whimpy was not slimy from this experience, she was even more whimpy and whiny after that.
The Noodleham Newspapers covered this visit and they were very unkind to Frumpy Frrzzy and Whimpy Whiny. “Frumpy and Whimpy had a Grooling Day”, “Pop Goes the Froodle”, and “If You Thought Groodleman was Slime” were some of the kinder headlines in the local papers.
After Ricky and Briana got the keys to the City, and their family were the most popular in Noodleham, Grumpy lost his Groodle empire and had to move his family across the other side of the Snoodle tracks. Grumpy Grimy Groodleman was thinking of ways to seek revenge. All he could think about was how to start selling Groodles. Grumpy was also angry that his two kids were always remembered for that ill fated day at the Candydoodle factory. Kids would call Frumpy ‘the Popadoodle Froodle.” Whimpy was always “the Slimadoodle Woodle.”
One day, as fate would have it, Grumpy Grimy got a visit from Evil Kidoodle, from the planet Zoodle.
Evil Kidoodle: My name is Evil Kidoodle from the planet Zoodle. I am here with my associate DooDoo Kidoodle. You may have read about me in the local newspapers. They say that I am evil, but that is just the name my parents gave me. Yet, I am here with an evil proposition that may be of special interest to you.
Grumpy Grimy: It better be something grimy because I get very grumpy these days.
Evil Kidoodle: I assure you that it may be so grimy that people will start driving the Groodle again.
Grumpy Grimy: Please take a seat and tell! And I see that DooDoo is getting along with my poodle named Scroodle.
Evil Kidoodle: DooDoo loves the smell of grool, and I see that Scroodle the Poodle also loves grool. But, here is my proposition. There are two classmates of Frumpy Frizzy and Whimpy Whiny. You may have read about them in the newspapers. They are Briana Brainy Broodle and Ricky Rockadoodle. While they did repair our leader Cloodle’s brain, and our spaceship, they made us look foolish. Cloodle the Grand Roodle does not like to be made to look foolish.
Grumpy Grimy: Isn’t he the guy with the turban and the diapers?
Evil Kidoodle: Yes. That is correct.
Grumpy Grimy: And isn’t he the guy who likes to suck on a binky?
Evil Kidoodle: The one and only!
Grumpy Grimy: Well then. It would make sense that he would not want to be made to look foolish. What do you propose?
Evil Kidoodle: Briana and Ricky always brings a piece of Stroodle Noodle cake for lunch. The night before, DooDoo with the help of your poodle named Scroodle will go into the family bakeshop, and sprinkle this special Willy Nilly Dilly dust on their Stroodle Noodle cake. Once they eat the cake, they will no longer be Ricky and Briana. They will be Willy Nilly Noodle and Dilly Dally Doodle. They will be complete nincompoops, and will have an insatiable desire just to eat grool. They will want to drive your Groodles, that I hear you have had a problem selling. We start with them. Once Briana Brainy Broodle becomes Dilly Dally Doodle and Ricky Rockadoodle becomes Willy Nilly Noodle, we will instruct hem to put the Willy Nilly Dilly dust into Noodleham’s waterdoodle supply. We will turn all the people of Noodleham into Willy Nillies and Dilly Dallies.
Grumpy Grimy: Sounds great, but it won’t work. Their uncle, Herbie Snoodleman is the top brain surgeon in the galaxy. He will just repair their brains.
Evil Kidoodle: There is only one way to reverse the Willy Nilly and the Dilly Dally. My associate on the planet Zoodle, VooDoo Kidoodle is the galaxy’s top accupunctadoodle specialist. He can insert special noodles into the brain, and it draws out the willy nillies and the dilly dallies. But, do not worry about him. Oh, one more thing. In return, we will place vacuudoodles around the planet to vacuum half of the Earth’s supply of grool. We, on Zoodle, enjoy a fine bowl of grool. You can have the other half of the grool supply for your Groodles.
Grumpy Grimy: Great! Let’s start with them, and we can then plan on taking over all of Noodleham! I may even buy the Noodleham Times, and run stories about the health benefits of grool!
Frumpy Frizzy and Whimpy Whiny had been in the next room and heard the entire conversation.
Frumpy Frizzy: What should we do? Should we warn Brianna and Ricky?
Whimpy Whiny: I am scared. Can we just be whimpy? And what about Popadoodle Froodle and Slimadoodle Woodle? Why help them? And, we can move across to the other side of the Snoodle tracks!
Frumpy Frizzy: We can’t go back to a world of grool, and surrounded by willy nillies and dilly dallies. What happened at the Candydoodle Factory is partly our fault. And this is our chance to repair our reputations!
Whimpy Whiny: Grool makes me whiny. You are right. We can’t have a future where everyone is Willy Nilly or Dilly Dally!
Before Frumpy Frizzy and Whimpy Whiny could warn Briana and Ricky, they had eaten the Stroodle Noodle Cake with the special Willy Nilly dust. That day, Briana and Ricky took their final exams and they both scored a ZERO! Their parents, Norman Noodle and Sally Stroodle were called in to the Principal Properdoodle’s Office.
Principle: First, I do not understand but Rick signed the exam Willy Nilly Noodle. Briana signed her exam as Dilly Dally Doodle. Before we figure out why they changed their names, and we decide on a plan for these two youngsters, I want to hear an explanation from both of them how they managed to score a zero. A monkey could not get a zero on these exams. Yet, both Willy Nilly and Dilly Dally somehow managed to get not a single question correct.
Willy Nilly went first.
Willy Nilly: It is all very simple. The test asks a question and then said that one of the four choices would be correct. So, I just decided to pick all four. If one of the four is the correct answer, I thought I would be guaranteed getting the answer right if I just picked all four choices. Unless all four choices were incorrect, I believe I should be getting an A plus for scoring 100%!
Principle: It does not work that way. The test measures what you have learned. And, you, Dilly Dally. You just turned in an exam that was completely blank. You did not answer a single question.
Dilly Dally: Principle Properdoodle. I can assure you that it was based on both moral and logical principles. I figured that everyone studied for the exam, right. But, with every question, when the choices are A, B, C, or D, somebody would pick A,. Someone else would pick B. Others may pick C or D. If I picked A as my answer, I am saying that everyone who picked B, C, or D are wrong, and I think that it is just not fair to them.
Willy Nilly: That makes complete sense to me. If the teacher decides the correct answer is A, but if six out of ten students gave B as the answer, that says half the class believes B is the correct answer. If half he class believe B is the right answer, maybe the right answer is B.
Principle: That would be sixty percent, more than half. Six out of ten is sixty percent.
Willy Nilly: Not if four out of ten say it is fifty percent. If four out of ten say fifty percent, that means that eighty percent believe it is fifty percent.
Dilly Dally: Willy Nilly! You are so smart!! I would have just dilly dallied trying to figure that one out.
Willy Nilly: If I can only figure out how to make a paper airplane fly! (as one just crashes to the ground)
Sally Stroodle: We have to do something! I am turning into a Nervous Nellie Noodle!
Dilly Dally: Wait! Don’t I get some credit for those cute swizly twizlys I drew?
At that moment, there was a knock on the Principal Properdoodle’s door. It was Frumpy Frizzy and Whimpy Whiny. They told everyone all about Evil Kidoodle’s plot.
Frumpy Froodle : All of Noodleham will become Willy Nilly and Dilly Dally!!
Whimpy Whiny: And we will be forced into eating grool, and we will even like it!
Willy Nilly and Dilly Dally: We love grool!
Norman Noodle: Thanks for letting us know. You too both get to help. I will get my brothers, Herbie Snoodleman and Sour Croodleman to take both of you up in the Snoodle Zoomadoodle to go to the planet Zoodle. I think we can make an offer Cloodle the Grand Roodle can’t refuse.
Frumpy Frizzy and Whimpy Whiny: We get to go to Zoodle?
Sally Stroodle: You should both go. This will show that you too are not part of Evil Kidoodle’s plot.
Whimpy Whiny: And I can let everyone know that I am not whimpy or whiny!!
The next day, Herbie and Sour met with Frumpy Frizzy, and Whimpy Whiny and in a flash, they landed on the planet Zoodle. They were led to Cloodle the Grand Roodle.
Cloodle: I know all about it. You put me to sleep and made me look foolish. I am about to turn your entire planet into Dilly Dallies and Willy Nillies, and there is nothing you can do about it. BAH, HAH, HAH!
Whimpy Whiny: But you haven’t thought about everyone becoming whimpy and whiny. Very whiny!
Frumpy Frizzy: And I think Sour and Herbie here has something you should think about.
Herbie: You let VooDoo perform accupunctadoodle of Briana and Ricky, and we will have Zoodles come to Noodleham for Brain Surgery Training. I will personally lead a team of brain surgeons, including my niece, Bianna Brainy Broodle, and we will provide brain surgery training to all the Zoodles that require such training.
Sour: And I along with my nephew, Ricky Rockadoodle, will be at your service for Rocket Science Training!
Herbie: Norman Noodle and Sally Stroodle will teach Zoodles the secrets of their Noodle Pie and Stroodle Noodle cake!
Cloodle: Stroodle Noodle cake and Noodle Pie! Why didn’t you say so in the first place. We have a deal!
Frumpy Frizzy: Not so fast. We have blue skies and clean air, but the waters on our planet are polluted with grool. We will will need Vacuudoodles to vacuum the grool from all of our waters. I understand that Zoodles like grool and you can have all the grool you want transported to Zoodle.
Sour: Atta boy!
Whimpy Whiny: That was great, Frumpy! Maybe I do not have to be whimpy and whiny!
Cloodle: We do love our grool! I will have the Vacuudoodles begin the grool vacuum process immediately.
VooDoo Kidoodle went with the gang in the Soodle Zoomadoodle and restored Briana and Ricky to their former selves.
Ricky Rockadoodle: Wow. For a second, I thought I went Willy Nilly.
Briana Brainy Doodle: And being Dilly Dally! That was not fun. Did I really score a Zero on the final exam?
Frumpy Frizzle Froodle and Whimpy Whiny Woodle were given keys to the City. Their whole class and Principal Properdoodle was on hand to cheer on.
Grumpy Grimy Groodleman started up a Groodle Mobile business on the planet Zoodle. (Commuting every night back to Earth, of course!).
Vaccudoodles were all over the sky sucking up all the grool from the Earth’s waters.
DooDoo Kidoodle and Scroodle the Poodle went back to Zoodle and got married.
Five years later, the Froodle Woodle Aquadoodle Marine Aquarium opened up in Noodleham.
It quickly became the hottest ticket in town.
